sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
babies were throwing up all over the place
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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