That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
