i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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