you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
