There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The uberlube is also flammable
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
