the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
