i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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