I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
