Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
