Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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