my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
