Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
