i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
