So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
