quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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