Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
