that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Girls should come with a carfax report
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
