sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
