Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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