she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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