We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
