he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
