how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
