This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I still have a little drunk in my system
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
