in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
