Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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