I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
