Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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