Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
