UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
