it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
