my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
