He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
