thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
