I want to make a zoo with you.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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