I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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