you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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