look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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