I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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