So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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