he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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