Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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