so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
