We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I intend to get homeless drunk
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
