we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
