Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
