that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
