im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
