He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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