Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
