How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
